How ONE Person Can Transform A Relationship EvenWhen One Partner Refuses To Change

You’ve probably heard that “it takes two to tango.”

It turns out this is a limiting belief that prevents so many couples from actually experiencing the relationship they want. 

If you believe that things will be better if only your partner changes, this would leave you frustrated because you don’t have control over your partner. 

If you believe that you have to wait for your partner to be more organized, be more romantic, and be more supportive, you’ll end up feeling stuck in your relationship because you want a different experience of your partner BUT you have no control over what they do. 

I want to introduce you to a concept I learned in a program that has transformed my mindset about every area of my life — from my business to my health and relationship. It’s called: 

“BE, DO, HAVE Mindset” 

I’m going to walk you through three steps that would help you understand what this mindset shift is all about.

STEP 1. HAVE

Think for a moment about the relationship you want to HAVE. What’s important for you to have in your ideal relationship?

More fun? More romance? More support? More understanding? More open communication?

Okay, great. 

Now, let’s move on to the next step.

STEP 2. DO

What are you doing in your ideal relationship?

Are you laughing more? Are you taking things less seriously? Are you scheduling space in your calendar for “quality time”? Are you speaking to your partner in a less harsh tone?

Are you being more encouraging to your partner? Are you listening without judgment? Are you giving more compliments than criticism? 

Now that you’re clear on the relationship you want to HAVE with your partner and what you DO in that relationship, let’s explore the next step.

STEP 3. BE

Think about who you are in your ideal relationship.

Ask yourself is, who do you need to BE in order for you to effortlessly do the things you identified in step 2? What kind of person does the things you identified in the previous step?

Are you supportive and kind? Are you intentional about your relationship? Are you more mindful about how you speak to your partner? Are you responsible for the health of your relationship? Are you more self-aware? Are you a better friend? 

See how this mindset of “BE, DO, HAVE” helps you to shift your focus from your partner — who you cannot change or control — to YOU, the only person you have 100% control over. And this mindset shift is empowering because you’ll realize that you have more control over your relationship than you think and YOU can transform your relationship by becoming the person that aligns with the relationship you want to have. 

The KEY is in BEING that person NOW. 

Most of us do the opposite. We think we need to have something to do and then be, but the key is in being that person now. Start embodying that person and taking actions that align with what you want to have. 

By adopting this mindset, it will help you to focus on what you can control. When you assume your part in the relationship and become more mindful of who you are becoming and how you’re coming across in the relationship, you’ll inevitably influence your partner to start shifting as well. But you see, it all started with YOU. 

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